Blog: How to Declutter with Kids
Decluttering with young children can feel impossible. You gather up the toys you know hey haven’t touched in months. And yet, as soon as they see them? These are my most favorite, BEST toys in the world! You CAN’T get rid of them!
So you have two options here. You can say TOO BAD! Get rid of the toys, and then deal with the emotional fallout/meltdown/tantrum, etc. OR You can keep the toys, watch your child play with them for the next ten minutes, and then start the whole process over again when the toys go back to being dusty and forgotten.
Could there be a better way? Of course there is! Children need to be taught that nothing lasts forever–that it’s okay to let go of things to make space for new things. Not only is this important in how they function in their own space one day, but it’s a great life lesson in general.
Personally, I don’t recommend throwing or giving away many or large toys all at once without consent from the child. Suddenly having a lot of their toys gone without any warning can be traumatic for some kids–especially if you have one like mine who gets really attached to his stuff.
Instead, there are lots of different ways you can work with your kids to teach them how to let go of things. The goal is to stretch their tolerance for the discomfort of letting things go–without causing trauma or meltdown. Here is one way to do that.
If possible, start this project when your kids are not around. This way, you can focus on taking toys out and sorting them without tiny hands grabbing at things and trying to play with them.
Stay focused on one toy bin, one closet, one small room at a time. Do not try to declutter all the toys and all the things all at once. This will overwhelm your children, and probably you too!
Sort everything into piles. Here are my recommended piles:
Trash/Donation: Anything broken that hasn’t been seen or touched by your child in weeks or months can go straight into the trash. Anything you know for sure they won’t miss but is still usable can go into your donation bag.
Once you have these piles done, hide the broken things in the trash, and hide the donation bag in your car, garage, etc. Do this right now before the kiddos see anything. Again, make sure it’s stuff they won’t even notice is gone. For me, this is goodie bag stuff, fast food toys, and little stocking stuffer-type things that were played with for a while and then forgotten.
Move: Anything that belongs somewhere else goes into this pile. For example, game pieces that have escaped can be put back into boxes. Once this pile is done, you can put everything back now or wait for your kiddos’ help.
Kids’ Choice: This is where you get creative. As you go through the toys, select some things that you think your kids might be persuaded to let go of. Bigger, more important toys that they have grown out of or simply haven’t played with in a while can go here. You can mix in some things you’re pretty sure they’ll want to keep. The goal isn’t for them to get rid of everything in this pile, but to have the choice of what can stay and what can go.
Keep: This pile is for the stuff that you absolutely know the kids’ will want to keep, or the stuff that you yourself decide should be kept.
Bring in the kids! Let them see all your lovely piles of toys. Make sure they understand that we are decluttering and organizing today. There are lots of ways you can explain why we do this–and I do think this part is important–depending on your childrens’ ages and cognitive abilities.
I prefer to keep it simple for mine: we are decluttering toys so we can make room for new ones! To help with this, I always try to schedule decluttering in the weeks leading up to birthdays and Christmas–but do whatever works for your family here.
Guide your kids to the Kids’ Choice Pile and let them know that we are giving away X number of toys–however many you decide–but that they get to choose which ones to keep and which ones to give away.
Be open to negotiation. If there is something in the Keep Pile they decide they want to let go of while keeping something in the Choice Pile–sure! Allow your child to have agency and ownership in these decisions as much as possible.
Do hold firm on your pre-selected number of toys they have to give away, though. Even if you don’t end up getting rid of as much as you wanted, the important thing is that your child is learning the skill of letting go.
Guide them through the process. Validate their feelings that letting go of things can be hard–BUT! You believe in them and know they can do it. Remind them of why we declutter our space. Give hugs to toys, say goodbye, decide to give them to a younger cousin or friend if that helps. Talk about all the kids who will get to play with these toys once they’re donated.
Be creative in showing your child all the benefits that will come from this process. Use a ton of positive reinforcement. And once they make their choices, swiftly bag the toys and get them out of sight to be donated later.
Enlist kids’ help with putting everything away. You can continue to sort things here, if you want. For example, by putting all the dolls into one bin and all the cars into another–or if you’re like me you can just generally sort by size or type and toss them all back into the bins.
Enjoy your freshly decluttered toy bin, high-five your kiddos, and let them know it’s play time now!
